Why women date other marrieds?
Talk about a loaded topic that no one wants to chat about, this is it. Funny thing, extramarital affairs have been going on ever since the beginning of the world. Extramarital relationships can be filled with problems, cause despair, and other problems. Plus you have to wrap your brain around all the other issues, there’s that truth and frankness matter, funds, age difference, faith education, guilt, and on and on. I expect there will be some strong opinions about some of this.
For the purpose of this article I will classify an affair as a long term, maybe years long relationship of a sexual nature between two individuals of whom one or both are married to other wives/husbands, date married woman.
Why do men have affairs? There are as many answers as there are seek affair. I am conserned mostly though it is just the human condition, the need for affection, belonging, to be wanted and cared for, the caring for others and wanting to be loved and loved. Here are a few explanations I have run across.
Naturally we as human beings are all sexual creatures. Nature has us set up to reproduce, to have sex. Sex is enjoyable and fun, and sex makes us escape the real world for a brief period of time. This ecstasy exists for whatever amount of time we are able to keep the adrenalin levels elevated enough. Somebody are able to turn the craving on and off, some are good at controlling it and others are so-so at best. But we all have it, young and mature, able bodied and not so able. It is the Human condition. For some of us it is the sex act itself that drives us. For some of us it is the stimulation of the pursue. For some of us it is the seduction, for some it is the love for another human being, for some it is the wish to be appreciatedloved, for some it is the whole romance thing. These needs and yearnings can be so strong they overcome the taboos society has erected against affairs. For lots of individuals the yearnings will overcome their doubts and make them risk the anger of not only their family, but society as well. So why, what is the means?
Sex Addicts, perhaps some of us are. Sex is terribly pleasant, better then drugs, a natural high. If you are in this group of biologically motivated sex addicts and can find away to have an affair and not injure your family or anybody else? You will need to reduce the hazard you are taking. If you have the approach that a good affair is one that is beneficial to everyone, then good luck.
No love at home, or no romance. I think this is the biggest group, very big really. There are many couples whose marriage is over, but they are comfortable in the way they exist, and upsetting the extended families is not on their list of things they wish to do. You love your other half but there is no romance. Also there are the kids to look after. Your savings are so tangled. You need the medical insurance, and so on. There are a lot of reasons to live together besides love and sex.
Bodily reasons, there are some people who can not have sex. They have physical circumstances that stop them completing the sex performance, at least not with their othere half. An marital affair at times solves the trouble while keeping the marriage intact.
Avoidance, sadly this is a common reason I fear. One or the other, usually the man is sexually neglecting his spouse for a large humber of reasons. As a man I actually am thankful to you guys neglecting your girls and making them accessible to us guys of romance, making them “milf wives” Though I still think it is despicable that you are neglectful. Also there is the spouse who is neglectful until the wife or husband has an affair, then they condemn them for doing so, when they where the catalyst. Those who neglect, then condemn, are not just neglectful, but malevolent.
Something is just missing in the marriage, I can not put my finger on it, but its not there. Probably its romance that is missing, could be it is a lack of love, could be caring is vanished, could be it is the closeness, could be neglect. Could be we have just developed distantly, our general concerns diverged. Maybe it is that what I want, and what I want to do the rest of my life, is diverce of what you want. Maybe I just do not know what I want from the marriage anymore. Maybe, just maybe I miss that feeling that when I am with you, it just feels right.
The ultimate reason people give is, they look for the passion that is missing and so very much longed for.
There are other reasons, the feeling of power, to escape, for economic gain, for revenge and so on. I am sure there are more reasons why people have affairs then these. I only stop because if this gets too long no one will read it.